


Lucky

by sleeponrooftops



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-23
Updated: 2009-06-23
Packaged: 2017-10-31 07:59:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/341771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeponrooftops/pseuds/sleeponrooftops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius has kept this secret all his life, has stood by Lily’s side no matter the case, but it’s finally come down to a very pivotal moment in their friendship.  And he hates that word more than anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lucky

**Sirius’ POV**

“Do you hear me?  I’m talking to you.”

 

She wrinkled her nose, her soft and sweet face scrunching with the movement, and I laughed at her slightly, mimicking the movement.  She tried to yell at me for making fun, but I rubbed my nose against hers unexpectedly to shut her up and she giggled, swatting me away and falling onto her back.  We’re outside, so the lush grass beneath her makes her arrival on the ground quite silent.  There were flowers everywhere, including the white daises I threw at her earlier entwined in her hair.  They’re her favorites, the ones with the blue centers.

 

“I’ll never hear you because I’m _ignoring_ you,” she murmured, covering her face with her hands.  They’re delicate, her hands, and they’ve got the most magnificent long fingers.

 

“Hey, Lils,” I mumbled, crawling next to her and nuzzling my nose against her bare shoulder.  She smells like strawberries today, like that beautiful shampoo she has that stays in my brain for _days_ until I can see her again.

 

I probably shouldn’t think about her this way, especially because James is so maddeningly in love with her, but Lily and I have been best friends _for years_ and God forbid I have a _bit_ of a crush on her.  Despite the fact that, y’know, not a soul knows we’re anything past her hating and me torturing, but I don’t mind the secrecy; it puts a spin on everything sometimes.

 

Plus, Lily’s _gorgeous_ ; absolutely knock ‘em dead winner.  She’s currently wearing this green summer dress that just makes her look spectacular, and it’s so hard to focus on _just friends_ while she’s lying there, beauteous red hair fanned out in waves, and sparkling tan skin begging to be caressed.

 

“What’s up, Sir?” she muttered right back, smirking at the nickname.

 

“Hey, Lils, I gotta talk to you about something.”

 

I’m being spontaneous, which is probably a horrid idea, but it’s the only way I’m ever going to get through to her.  My spontaneity level in this “friendship” is ridiculous anyway, but she never gets the hints I throw at her and, however frustrating, I’m always back for more.

 

She’s addicting like that.  I can see why James loves her.  The one thing I can’t figure out is how we became friends.  It’ll remain a mystery for the rest of my life, no matter how many times I review the films in my mind.  Her curiousness toward me was relentless, and my nonexistent reluctance to resist her was exactly that: diminished entirely.

 

 _Sirius Black_ , she’d written in a note, and I couldn’t help but laugh aloud at the absolute determination in the handwriting; it clearly depicted her spoken word, and, when I looked up to her, her hands were already on her hips as if she’d said the name with venom and stomped her foot.

 

 _Lillian Evans_ , I’d written back with her standing right there at my shoulder, _You’re pretty today._

“Only today?” she asked, and her inquisitiveness showed immediately as she knelt next to me, hand falling to my thigh, “Only today?” she begged.

 

“Every day, flower,” I said, winking, but my heart fluttered with every caught breath.

 

She shook her head and looked away, unbelieving, and I managed to gain her trust by scooping up her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

 

“Every _moment_ ,” I breathed against her hand before lifting out of my seat and heading off.

 

From that day forth, we’d written notes throughout class until we started meeting up during the night or early in the morning.

 

“What are you thinking about Sirius?”

 

“I’m thinking about how we met.”

 

“It was silly.  I shouldn’t have been so stupid.  But you seemed so… separate.”

 

“Separate?  I don’t think that’s exactly the word I would’ve chosen.”

 

“You weren’t James, and you certainly weren’t Remus.  You were… different.”

 

“A mutt?”

 

“I was trying to be nice,” she scoffed, play-hitting me before taking my hand and interlocking it with hers.

 

“ _Lillian_ ,” I whispered, pulling my hand away and sitting upright.  She grumbled something incoherent and didn’t follow me.  “I’m sorry, my dear, what was that?”

 

“You’re being selfish.”

 

“Selfish?” I gasped in utter disbelief, “I believe your vocabulary is _very_ off today, Ms. Evans.”

 

“I’m trying to have a nice time with my friend and he’s ruining it!  _God_ , Sirius!”

 

“You’re trying to have a nice time with me, huh?  So I can’t consider my feelings toward you?”

 

It had come out abruptly, very spontaneously, and I somewhat regretted it.  I was yelling now, something I hated to do around Lily, but it had to be done, she had to know before the year was out.  After that, I was positive I’d never see her again.  She would want nothing to do with me and my silly feelings, and she certainly wouldn’t visit James.  Heavens no; all he ever did was cause her absolute frustration.  Maybe she’d visit Remus, but it was unlikely.  And Peter, well, they never really were anything but acquaintances, and even that was a stretch.

 

“What am I supposed to say to you Sirius?  There is nothing I can do to console.”

 

“You can tell me that I’m wrong, that I should have never felt this way.”

 

“Even though I understand where you’re coming from?” she mumbled sadly, looking away and sighing.

 

I stood, not wanting to bother with her any longer, and started to make my way back toward the castle.

 

“You can’t leave me!” she exclaimed, jumping to her feet hurriedly and sprinting after me.  She caught my hand and tugged me around to face her.

 

“I _can’t_ , you’re right!” I yelled, throwing her hand away from mine, “How did you do this?  How did you turn around a perfect day and throw it in my face?  I was merely trying to confront something!  You _always_ do this!  You _always_ disallow me to speak of my feelings!”

 

“Then go!  Tell me _everything_!”

 

“I love you, goddamn it!” I screeched, and there was a flurry of action in various places.

 

My stomach exploded in welcomed butterflies, my hands cupped her chin, and my eyes flew shut as our lips met, and it was beyond passion, beyond excitement.  Beyond that, it was unhelpfully wrong and I was distraught at the fact.  As we parted, I secure, she upset, her words broke my heart again, “James and I have been going out for three months now.”

 

“Why did you never tell me?”

 

“I thought it would hurt you.”

 

“It did.”

 

“But I didn’t want to lose you.”

 

“You did.”

 

“Sirius…”

 

“Don’t worry, Lily, I’ll always be here for you as your friend.”

 

“Can I ask that of you?”

 

“Regardless, you’ll take it anyway.  You’ve always taken what didn’t belong to you.  My heart was never safe in your hands, but you make it easier when life gets hard.”

 

She just sniffed sadly and curled against me, seeking comfort.  Like always, I had broken and she didn’t care, but at least we were still friends.

**Author's Note:**

> Hm. That changed very quickly, but I think I like how it went. Sorry about the length; my oneshots never seem to make it very far anymore. Well, I’ve been trying to write this pairing for months on end, probably longer, so I hope it was at least decent, :]


End file.
